Tuesday, August 28, 2007

In high school, my cousins came to visit, and one of them brought his Nintendo 64 with four controllers and Mario Kart 64. It was excellently fun. Mostly, I played Bowser and Yoshi. (They're green.) My feeling was that Yoshi was capable of going faster, but Bowser was easier. I tended to over steer when playing Yoshi, because he was just too responsive.

A few years later when I finally got around to learning to drive, I completely freaked out my mom by announcing, after finishing my very first circuit of the chosen parking lot, that our car looked like it should drive like Bowser but actually drove like Yoshi. It was a big tank of a Ford Crown Victoria, but it was also one of the most responsive cars you could find. It would practically drive itself if you let it.

Anyway, a few days ago, Winterson got it in his head that he simply had to have a Nintendo 64. So, he camped out the Craigslist adds until he found a reasonable deal on a Nintendo 64 with four controllers (bizarrely, not the green one), and a decent selection of games: two Zelda, two James Bond, and Mario Kart. As it has been many years since I last played Mario Kart, I started off on Bowser. However, I was surprised last night when I finally tried Yoshi out again to find that I now find driving Yoshi much easier than driving Bowser.

Could my practice driving that Crown Victoria have improved my Mario Kart playing?

Friday, August 17, 2007

When you're little, for instance as Tanaris is little, there are some definite advantages. There are difficulties too..

But when else in her life will Tanaris have pet cats her own size and pet dogs FIVE TIMES her size. Or, for that matter, be able to fly? (Admittedly, she has some assistance when she flies, but, nonetheless, she spends a lot more time flying than I do.)

Sunday, August 12, 2007

As my pain and suffering decreases, I'm finding that my tolerance for it lessens accordingly. Thus, I don't feel like I'm getting any better. I have three theories for why this may be.

First, I've been using up my reserves surviving this far. So, the longer this drags on, the less energy I have to manage dealing with it.

Second, as I regain strength and mobility, I'm becoming less dependent on the people around me to survive. Therefore, I feel less of an automatic need to be pleasant, cheerful, and easy to care for in order to keep my helpers happy, aiding in my survival.

Third, as I get more energy, I have more energy with which to be unhappy with my situation. Not enough energy to do anything -- just enough to be dissatisfied.

Despite the seeming conflict between theories one and three, I think there's some truth in all of these. Basically, the last few weeks have felt like drowning -- I kick and swim with all my might toward the surface, and I know, intellectually, that I'm getting closer. But, no matter how much closer I get to the surface, as long as I haven't achieved it, I am still drowning.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Tanaris sleeps so much that she makes me think of the Greek myth of Endymion -- the shepherd granted eternal sleep, in response to the wishes of the goddess Selene.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

The world no longer belongs to me. Last Friday evening, I passed ownership of it along to my new daughter, Tanaris. (I've used Warcraft names for myself and my husband thus far in this blog, so I figure I'll use the Warcraft nickname for my daughter as well.) I'm finding it very relaxing to not own the world any more. So far, she hasn't show too much interest in her new and grand possession. I think my favorite moment with her so far was when we were wheeled out of the elevator, coming down from the recovery ward where Tanaris had spent the first three days of her life. Entering the first floor of the hospital, the hallways opened out around us into a giant lobby, dozens of people walked by or milled in the distance, and I could see Tanaris realizing that the world was hundreds of times larger than she'd known.

Just wait until she realizes that it's hundreds of times larger than that...

And then hundreds of times larger again...