She can crawl! Of course, she still seems to believe that swimming would be easier and often chooses lying on her stomach, paddling the air with her arms and legs while crying for help, over actually crawling. Because crawling would be too much work. Nonetheless, she now can crawl, if given proper incentive. Such as, for instance, a nearby Heidi-cat.

Despite almost constant effort, Elaine is still not crawling. But she has a tooth. I haven't seen it yet, but you can hear it click against the glass of cup, and if you feel her gums, you can tell it's very sharp.

Oh no! What will we do?! We simply don't have the technology, and even if we did it would take weeks!

But... wait... a centrifuge! That fixes everything.

Ah, Stargate.

We've decided that the safest way to deal with the camellia bush -- which is growing ever more vicious and pernicious -- is to trap it. If we actually kill it, another camellia bush will just take its place. However, if we can ensnare it, trap it in place, and keep it alive by luring birds close enough for it to catch and eat, then it will protect us by scaring all the other camellia bushes away.

Keep your friends close, but camellia bushes closer. Or is that "fight camellia bushes with camellia bushes?"

Elaine's flopping all over the living room floor today. She moves like an octopus out of water -- squished down on the floor, using all of her immense but poorly directed strength. For a while now, it's felt like she could start crawling any day. Now it feels like she could start any minute.

A camellia bush followed us on our walk today. It was monstrously large and flowered in pink. And clearly hungry. It tried to trick us a few times -- once it disguised itself as a man and asked us if we like pancakes, then, right as we turned the last corner, it turned the gravity off. But we were too quick for it and have lived to walk another day.

Though... If you have to be eaten by something, I suppose a camellia bush wouldn't be that bad.

Do tigers ever get tired of being stripey? I have a number of very stripey shirts, and I don't want to wear them every day. You have to be in the right mood to be that stripey. But tigers are stripey every day. You'd think it would make them grumpy some days.